We’re always in competition, be that with work colleagues, school classmates, friends, or even ourselves…it’s totally exhausting and unhealthy. It’s so easy to think that because someone has more money than you, or appears slimmer than you, that they’re in some way luckier than you or that they’re doing better than you. But there’s always going to be someone who earns more than you, who can get better grades, or can run further than you, what does dwelling on this achieve? Whilst I think that competition with others is pretty natural for us all, it’s instinctive to want to be the best at things, but I think we should try and not let it come in between ourselves and those that matter to us. I know myself I am guilty of getting down about my abilities or how I look because of how intelligent and beautiful my friends are.
But it’s funny how we spend all our time wishing to be better at things, or to be able to do more…but we’re never satisfied, when we get there and we’re better at something than someone else…does it even feel that good? Do we sit and think muhahaha I can do x better than y? No of course we don’t, well, at least not unless you are an extremely conceited egomaniac! We strive so hard to be at the top, but for what reason? We might be ‘best’ at something out of our friends on one thing, but what do we dwell on? The thing that our friends can do that we can’t, or the thing that they have that we don’t…we’re always so inclined to see the negative, even when we’re surrounded by positives.
What I’ve realised is no ones abilities, achievements or possessions affect your own. Realistically, someone else’s riches does not make your poor, nor does someone else’s misfortunes does not make you fortunate. Once we realise that where other people are and what other people achieve does not affect where we are or what we achieve, we can be at peace with everyone else’s achievements and successes.
We’re so self deprecating that we never take the time to appreciate our own abilities, our own beauty, our own successes and our own talents – we all have them, yet we dwell on what others have that we might not see in ourselves. Whilst we spend time doing this the very people we ‘envy’ will no doubt be guilty of doing the same thing, but about you! Next time instead of seeing someone looking really toned or getting an amazing new job- don’t let your first reaction be; ugh why don’t I have that job or why don’t my arms look like that? Just be happy for them! And genuinely happy for them. Being at peace with yourself and where you are now and what you have now is so much more positive than being envious of someone else. You get what you put in, if you put in positive energy about the success’ of others, you will in turn experience similar positives – I truly believe this
I do however, think that competition with yourself is pretty good. It’s good to challenge yourself and always strive for better, so long as this striving for better doesn’t also include putting yourself down for where you are whilst you’re serving for better. We really are our own biggest critics, we’re always telling ourselves we haven’t achieved enough or earned enough, instead of taking a second to realise what we have achieved, the things we’ve overcome and the things we’re proud of.
It’s totally fine to see that you still have room for improvement and to constantly strive for better – but negative thoughts about the current moment, because that achieves nothing. If you’re feeling like you’ve not achieved enough, or earned enough, or generally talented enough, let me be your confidence booster today. I’m the person telling you that where you are right now is amazing, that what you’ve achieved is great and your plans for the future are amazing too. Yes you might be able to do better than you’re doing right now, but your still doing amazing RIGHT NOW…don’t forget that.
So in conclusion, I think there needs to be a good balance between always striving to do your best and fulfilling your potential, with not being hard on yourself and expecting unrealistic things form yourself / letting the achievements of totally different people undermine your own achievements. Life is so diverse that to expect people to be in the same place at the same time or to be weighing / looking the same is honestly a ridiculous suggestion! So I challenge you to stop comparing your successes with others, or to try and have more something than someone else. Try congratulating others and genuinely meaning it. We’re all dealing with our own inner battles about feeling good enough/successful enough, so why not try and support your friends and family for their successes; they will more than likely be thinking the same about themselves as you think about yourself, so your positive thoughts and congratulations might make the world of difference to them.
Compete with yourself to run 5 minutes further next time or to get a couple more views on your blog – but do things that relate to your life properly and that fit in with your journey and your pace
Until next time,
P.S. sorry if this seems a little all over the place, I’ve been super busy and written this blog at lots of different points, but I did my best 🙂 (look at me not giving myself a hard time)